Rookies by Shane Allison

Author:Shane Allison [Allison, Shane]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Cleis Press

THE HORNINESS TEST

Martha Davis

It was my favorite road, long and winding, and I often took it because normally at this time of the morning I was the only soul using it. If your foot rides the gas petal a little extra hard and there’s no PD to aim their speed guns in your direction are you technically speeding? No sooner had the thought formed—fucking blue lights!

Not again. Not now. He made me wait on the shoulder for a good ten minutes with said blue lights blinking away in my rearview mirror, slowly kicking the last pebble off the precipice of my temper. Fuck! And the thought of a speeding ticket on graduation night from the academy wasn’t making the steel-enforced hard-on I’d been sporting for most of the night go away, either. Then the lights went dark and his silhouette exited the patrol car and walked toward me while I longed for the eighth-grade math book that I used to hide behind in my hot-for-teacher days.

“Boy, are you aware you’re going seventy-five miles an hour in a fifty-five zone?”

I looked up into his light-blue eyes. Boy? He planned to ride me hard. “Probably.”

“Care to tell me why?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

“Well, Officer”—I decided to play civilian and not acknowledge his rank even though I knew full damn well what it was—“Let’s just say I’ve spent the last couple of hours watching a batch of hot-ass male strippers bump, grind and gyrate in ways I’m sure their mommas didn’t teach them as a way to celebrate my becoming one of you now.”

“This excuse I must hear more about. Please continue.”

He wants a good dirty story? I’ll play. “Anyways, now I’m so horny I can’t take it anymore. If I don’t get home and wear out my hand or anything else I can find there, I won’t be responsible for my actions. Do you need descriptions of that, too?”

“I see. Get out of the car.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Get out of the car.”

“Why?”

“You appear to be driving while horny. In fact, you just confessed and I need to administer a horniness test to confirm it.”

A horniness test? Yeah, I shot him a totally disrespectful look.

“If I have to say get out of the car again, it’s going to involve handcuffs.”

He wouldn’t dare! But then again, he just might. I opened the door to my Escalade and stepped out. Before I could get my second foot on the ground he yanked me by the elbow and pulled, slammed my door and threw me against it. His meaty arms forced mine into the small of my back and his thick thigh came up between my legs and parted them. I was pinned up against my truck like a bug.

The officer asked, “Can you identify what I have pressed against that tight bubble-ass of yours?”

“It’s a big, fucking state-patrol dick,” I replied.

“And what’s it doing there?”

“It’s growing bigger and harder with every breath.”

I wiggled in his airtight embrace, crushing my ass into his black-uniform-covered crotch.

“And what does that big, hard dick make you want to do?”

“It makes me want to get on my knees and suck it.

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